Salinas [Click the photo above to go to Salinas website]
136 9th Avenue (between 18th and 19th Street) New York, NY 10011
After just seeing my dad a few days ago, I guess he felt it was pertinent to see me again and expand my waistline. Thanks. So off to dinner I went with my dad and sister.
My sister goes to grad school at Columbia (She is getting her masters in literacy, going to be a teacher molding children’s minds, some crap like that) so it made sense to meet on the west side, and I compromised by not going too far uptown.
Besides I thought, how bad could tapas really be for you? They’re small portions. Yeah, I don’t know about that.
I somehow managed to get there first, and the hostess says that I can wait at the bar for the rest of my party to arrive. I was originally not going to drink anything, but when the bartender asked me what I wanted, when I expected to say water I said, “something spicy please, with tequila.” I don’t know what happened.
My sister comes in next, orders sangria, and tells me that Dad is parking the car. She informs me that they’re not giving me a ride back to my apartment, so now I’ll have to spend $15 on a cab ride to accommodate the rest of my family (what is that about??).
Late Larry comes strolling in, comes up to us, and goes, “the table’s ready,” as if he’s been waiting on us.
“You’ll take care of the bar tab?” Thanks.
We get seated, and I start shooting out ideas for what to order. My dad doesn’t do well with tapas (he was a disaster when he visited me abroad in Barcelona. The only thing he learned was “café con leche merci beaucoup.” Yes, the last part is not Spanish, and his flavor palette expanded as much as his vocabulary).
“Wow, someone read the menu ahead of time.”
“I really didn’t. I just know you are particular so I thought I’d throw some ideas out.”
“She definitely read the menu,” my dad says to my sister.
Why am I defending myself?
Our waiter rattles off a few specials, we ask for recommendations, and the amount of dishes we should order. The waiter says that main plates take about 30-40 minutes to prepare, and we immediately nixed that idea. Waiting? Nope, we don’t do that. Ready for our order?
One order of brussel sprouts
One order of flat bread
One order of shrimp
One order of baked goat cheese
One order of lamb meatballs
One order of a cured fish special
One order of patatas bravas
Two orders of pasta (large not small) because we couldn’t agree on one.
My dad wanted a pasta with chicken, chorizo and cockles. My sister and I wanted one with lamb and goatcheese (we like goat cheese duh).
“What are cockles?”
“It’s pasta,” my dad says.
“There is no way it’s a type of pasta. I’ll look it up,” I say.
“Let’s ask the waiter.”
“Excuse me, what are cockles?”
“Clams.”
“I knew it!” said my dad. No he didn’t…
Dishes came out a few plates at a time. The flatbread and brussel sprouts arrive first. The brussel sprouts are standard; the flat bread was crunchy and crumbled into pieces when you tried to rip off a piece, my sister and I were not into it.
“This is pretty good,” chomp chomp, my dad says.
Eh.
I was tired and didn’t have much to say so I let my sister take it away for this round, and once she starts talking about Columbia she doesn’t stop. She once spent ten minutes discussing the address of the school she worked at, and the driving route she took to get there (snoozefest).
Sidebar: Lets be real, whether it’s finance, social media, public relations, or education, work is boring. I’m sorry it is. It’s called “work” it’s not supposed to be fun, and if you do actually like your job then everyone will resent you for it anyway so keep your mouth shut: unless you love your job and make no money, then whatever.
I did however perk up when we discuss how my sister could use her love of cheese as a teaching method for kids with pronunciation issues.
“Mozzarella, muenster, goat cheese, gouda, swiss…”
“So many kinds!”
Meatballs arrive: good, but the cucumber the meatball sat on needed more crunch.
Fish special: tasted like miniature brunch dishes, cured fish (if that’s a thing), and lentils that looked like capers.
“I have to do this…so they like me here…this person gave good advice…I have this lesson plan to do… this is challenging…the content doesn’t get covered all the time…social studies…this is below average on spectrum…I took the bus with my metro card”
“Rates are goin’ up on that,” my dad chimes in.
“You took the bus?”
“I did, but it was too much traffic, so I got out and hailed a cab.” Now that’s my sister.
Shrimp dish is ok, but the oil it swims in is good for dipping with bread. The baked goat cheese is actually a bowl of tomato sauce with hot goat cheese in the center that you spread on bread (boom, best dish we ordered).
Now that the goat cheese dish has woken me up, let’s talk about something I’m interested in. Perspiration.
My sister and I were blessed with my dad’s horrible perspiration gene, and it never gets old discussing it.
“I don’t sweat that much!” my dad says. For the record until the age of 18, I didn’t know that a. not everyone sweats bullets from dancing at a bar/bat-mitzvah before the candle lighting ceremony and b. that not all guys smell that way after playing basketball. True Story.
“It’s not ok for a girl to sweat.”
And since I pre-gamed with my sister and her friends this past weekend in a small converted one bedroom in Murray Hill (oh, wait I live in one of those too), with raging 22 year olds, I was reminded of how uncomfortable it is to actually sweat surrounded by a group of people, while also trying to be the cool older sister (not easy, I tell you).
My dad’s favorite thing to tell me is how I can’t party like I used to.
“You faded real fast.” It’s true, I can no longer pound shots, but there are also no more pictures of me on Facebook with my eyes rolling to the back of my head.
Pasta! My sister and I like our pasta better than our dad’s, but he insists that his is better, and when my dad insists on something he gets louder and enunciates his words.
“I-don’t-know-what-you’re-talkin’-about-this-is-good.”
Should we get dessert? Why not?
Flan!
My sister says she doesn’t like the way it jiggles. “It’s like a weird jell-o.” She’s so expressive.
“So I heard I’m not getting a ride back home?”
“Oh, your sister told you that already?”
“Yep, so you’ll pay for my cab fare right?”
“Yeah, what is that like $10?” What a sport!
“More like $12.50. You can just give me a 20.” Doesn’t he know? The fares went up.
Salinas (Coles y Colifor: brussel sprouts, green cauliflower, citrus yogurt & pimenton de la Vera)
Maybe this multicolored veggie plate is a trend right now, since this is the second time in two weeks I’m seeing it, gotta say I don’t love it. Dish needed more brussel sprouts in my opinion and more of the yogurt sauce. I was thinking it’d be like the brussel sprout dish at Alta…I was very wrong.
Salinas (Crujiente Mahones: flat bread, Majon cheese, honey, thyme & sea salt)
Mixed reviews on this! I wanted something that was less crunchy and more bready. My dad couldn’t get enough of it!
Salinas (Montadito: Colorado lamb meatballs, pickled cucumbers, tomato sofrito & Spanish toast)
Only 3 per dish, so minimal guilt for this order, because I only ate one, and it was served on a cucumber! I try to forget that meatballs are made with breadcrumbs. Really good!
Salinas (fish special)
Sorry, they didn’t give me a description for this! I really liked this! It wasn’t overpowering or super fishy. It reminded me of smoked fish they serve on a brunch platter, but you know, without the bagel.
Salinas (Gambas Al Ajillo:sauteed shrimp, wild mushrooms, garlic, guindilla pepper & parsley)
This is a very standard shrimp dish I see on tapas menus. I don’t really like shrimp served this way, but my dad and sister wanted it, and I knew they would want to dip the bread in the oil/sauce. It’s an easy dish to order if you’re not into cured meats or a tapas beginner.
Salinas (Queso Al Horno: baked spanish goat cheese, spicy tomato sofrito & Spanish toast)
It was my favorite dish we ordered! It was also freezing in the restaurant so it warmed me right up!
P.S. My sister’s loved the name, obviously, horno, horny. Her favorite movie character of all time is Alota Fagina, so you get the idea.
Salinas (patatas bravas)
I almost always order patatas bravas whenever I go to a tapas restaurant. I feel like it’s a sign of a good tapas restaurant. These were different in that they were diced small, and they were good, but I don’t know, they weren’t the highlight of the meal. I don’t think you need to order them.
Salinas (fideos pasta, braised lamb shank, wild mushrooms, seasonal greens & goat cheese aioli)
I have never heard of goat cheese aioli, and I think it was the best part of the dish mixed with the lamb. A little mushy but we finished it.
Salinas (Rossejat Rapida: fideo pasta, all natural chicken breast, fava beans, chorizo, cockles & saffron alioli)
It looks good doesn’t it? This was the “large” portion. For large it isn’t so large. It was ok. This was also sort of mushy in texture, and reminded me of the macaroni you get in Easy Mac.
Salinas (flan)
Some people don’t like flan. I’m not one of those people. My dad felt the need to say “boy, you like flan,” 3x to me while I was eating. He’s rude.
Ainsworth [Click the photo above to go to Ainsworth’s website]
122 West 26th Street (between 6th and 7th Avenue) New York, NY 10001
Sunday football is back! I decided to be proactive and make at reservations in advance at Ainsworth to watch the Jets game (I’m a Giants fan, but in reality I don’t watch football by myself…ever) at 1pm.
I e-mailed them the Monday before to secure reservations. They request a credit card on file in order to secure the reservation, and there’s a dress code. Oh, and for a party of 6-8, patrons have to spend a minimum of $250. Unless there are 10 or more which means you must spent $500. What kind of place is this!
And, they’ll charge the credit card on file if you don’t show up to your reservation…this place better be amazing. It…was not.
I arrive first, because why wouldn’t I arrive first, and they seat me right by the door.
“Excuse me would be able to sit farther in?”
“I’m sorry people are seated in according to how quickly we receive your reservation.” (I didn’t sneak out of temple to make this reservation or anything. It’s fine). I sit alone on my phone trying to figure out the new upgrades to my IPhone. Youtube is gone, what else?
Two of my friends arrive after me with an elaborate story about how they planned on wearing sweat pants to defy the dress code, and then surprise the bouncer with an outfit underneath (they didn’t do any of this, but they really thought about it).
My friend is telling me how she worked out and started this new diet for a wedding she has coming up, and I have to interrupt her to tell her she has something in her teeth, and I cannot stop staring at it.
“It must be from the bagel. Why didn’t you tell me?” she says to our other friend.
“I didn’t see it. It’s black right?” She saw it.
“I thought you said you were on a diet.”
“I was up since 8!” Ok ok.
We each order a beer (they’re out of Blue Moons), and my friend orders some fancy pants Raspberry beer which comes in a champagne flute, and looks just like Manischewitz wine. It tastes sort of like juice, but I don’t know, I don’t mind it.
We decide we want tuna tacos to split, and I guess I’ll be good and get a salad. Our other two friends arrive.
“Why didn’t you guys get pitchers?”
Everybody caaaalm down. We order a pitcher.
One of my friend is convinced she’s sea sick from a booze cruise she took the night before, doesn’t even touch her beer, and orders a coffee…
I get up to use the restroom. The beer has already gotten to me, and apparently the door to the unisex bathroom does not lock, and 3 people open the door on me. I walk out and decide I’m not telling anyone what happened, because there’s nothing more embarrassing than someone walking in on you screaming, “No don’t! Someone’s in here!”
Luckily my friends don’t care. “You missed it! Kris Humphries just walked in with his hood on!”
I seem to like to go to the same place C List celebrities like to hang out. First Kim D and Teresa, now Kris Humphries (and weirdly enough I’ve seen him a few times watching football on Sunday). He is sitting in VIP. I mean is that cool? I don’t really know. I don’t think so, but all my friends are like, “we gotta find a way in to VIP.”
No thanks! I’ll eat my salad (which sucked). Everyone orders a salad, but we still get a pitcher of beer and nachos, so who were we really fooling? No one.
As I crunch on my dressing-less salad, we all watch girls decked in heels, hair done, oversize bags…we’re “watching” football you freaks. Girls have full faces of make-up, and the restaurant/bar is now just a bar so it’s pitch black. No one can see your face anyway!
Our last friend arrives, and orders a caprese salad, and decides she’ll wait it out for her next dish. We do have to make this stupid minimum.
My friend decides she wants to seek out Kris Humphries, and I have to pee again so off we go. This time I go into the Ladie’s Room. Eff that unisex bathroom. I hate you. She then makes me walk around to the back where the VIP section is, and she is awkwardly standing there just staring. Now I feel weird.
“I don’t see him. Where do you want to go?”
“I don’t know where is he?”
I see someone waving furiously at me. Some guy I met in a Hampton sharehouse a few years ago, sitting on a couch in the VIP section. I wave back.
“Can we go?”
We sit back down, and try to figure out if we have reached the minimum amount we have to pay to sit in these seats.
“Did you see the Hump?”
“No, but we saw some guy I know from a sharehouse.”
“Was that the pale guy waving at you?”
“Yes.”
We have not reached our minimum yet, and the game is still going.
“It got so dark in here.”
“How much longer is this game?”
“Is it going to go into overtime?”
“Please no!”
We are $10 off from the minimum after already ordering mac n cheese for the table (huge portion, ok flavor) and we are about to just suck it up and pay for it when my friend screams, “I’ll have a bloody mary!”
“We might as well make the minimum.” She already had 3 bloody marys, and made me take a picture of it, because “it looked pretty good.”
We pay, and the game goes into overtime, and the bar is pitch black. I cannot bear to watch one more minute of the Jets. I’m out of here. Maybe i’ll see Kris again next week.
Ainsworth (bloody mary)
Everyone knows what beer looks like, so here is a different drink. The same person who ordered this also ordered one of their lemon specialty drinks. It was 1 in the afternoon. I don’t know where she thought she was.
Ainsworth (mac n cheese)
Everyone agreed that this was disappointing. It was a dish we ordered to make the minimum. It’s fine macaroni and cheese, but it’s not that great. The best part is the parmesan bread crumbs baked on top.
Ainsworth (tuna tartar tacos:red onions, scallions,red chili vinaigrette, guacamole)
They were actually pretty good!! Also for tacos, not that messy either. I was pleasantly surprised!
Ainsworth (nachos:tri-color corn tortillas, shredded jack and cheddar,black beans,pico de gallo, guacamole,sour cream)
I didn’t eat the nachos. I think they were ok. It’s just a pile of fat on top of carbs, so I’m sure this has to be decent bar food. I did like the guacamole that came on the tuna tacos, so at least I know that was good.
Ainsworth (Tomato Mozzarella Caprese: buffalo mozzarella, basil oil, red and yellowtomatoes, balsamic reduction)
I asked my friend how it was, and she crinkled her noise and said, “eh.” In other words don’t get it.
Ainsworth (truffle Mushroom Stuffed Burger: bacon,swiss cheese,truffle mayo)
I stole some of the truffle fries. It was decent, but my friend did not finish it, so maybe she deemed it not worth the calories or maybe she wasn’t hungry. I don’t know, but probably not a great sign.
Ainsworth (Ainsworth Chopped Salad:romaine lettuce,grape tomatoes,corn, hearts of palm, feta cheese, cucumbers, carrots, asparagus,red onions,white balsamic vinaigrette, add chicken $3, shrimp $5)
I added the chicken, and removed the feta. They put all the contents on top of the salad so it looked like it was going to taste great, and then the rest of the bowl was filled with lettuce. Crap salad.
Ainsworth (Spinach Salad: baby spinach, red peppers, red onions, mushrooms,artichoke hearts,goat cheese,apple cider vinaigrette, add chicken $3)
My friend was craving goat cheese so she immediately eyed this salad. It looks fine, but it’s not a healthy salad.
Ainsworth (caesar salad)
Ok caesar salad. You can see by the quality of the picture how dark it really does get in this restaurant/bar.
GirlyFoodie 