Whole Foods [Click the photo above to learn about Whole Foods Wellness Center]

270 Greenwich Street, Manhattan NY 10007

Went to my first food blogging meet-up ever last night, and let me just say: I.am.awkward.

 It was hosted by Every Day Health at the Wellness Center at Whole Foods in Tribeca and started at 6. I get out of work at 5:30 so I was plotting my escape route all day. I was heavily debating between taking a cab or the subway. If I take a cab I’ll never learn the city, but the subway gives me anxiety. I’ll call my mom and see what she says, she says take a cab…I’ll take the subway. I’m a grown up! I can do it!

 I hate when you walk out of a subway and you’re not sure whether to go right or left, and then you get run over by 20 people, and you know they’re just thinking, “she’s not from here.” I AM, I AM.

 After asking 3 people if Greenwich Street was this way with a random flip of my hand, I finally made it to my destination (balling!).I met my homosexual best friend aka my fake boyfriend at the event. He also has his own blog (notabaker.com if you’re interested). He greeted me by rubbing his hairy cheek into my face, which gave my face rug burn. Now I will be meeting strangers with a beet red face (thanks).

 My other friend was hosting the event (go Everyday Health), and was greeting everyone at the door. The first thing she asks me, “Do you have a card?”

 Me: “No…”

 My friend: “You should get a card.”

 Me: “Shit, I gotta get a card”

 Now that that’s taken care of, where is the food? I want to say my friend and I walked into the event room and were like “we’re here to f*ck shit up,” but it was NOT like that. First off, there was no place to put my coat, and I felt like the lights were burning a hole in my head, so perspiration was inevitable. I filled my plate with some food, and proceeded to judge (p.s. all the food was super healthy. Guilt free, what up).

 “This dip is weird”

 “Have you tried the sushi? Can I eat more of it, or is there too much on my plate?”

 “The sushi is soooo good”

 My gay best friend was of absolutely no help in calming my anxiety: “We should talk to people”

 “Ok, lets talk to people”

 We just stand there.

 “Do you think that person wants to talk to us?”

 “I think they do”

 “I want more sushi. They just refilled the tray.”

 “They did! Let’s get a plate and share. I don’t want to look like a fatty.”

 “Get your own.” (RUDE, hint this was not me)

 It did not help that my bff kept pinching my butt, because “it’s funny.” We’re in public, and you’re gay. People are going to think you’re my boyfriend, and I am a terrible girlfriend for cringing at your touch.

 “Ooh, truffles” I grab one, and bite into it.

 “No!” My friend yells, “you do NOT bite truffles! What kind of foodie are you?” I don’t know, a hungry one.

 I eventually found my footing, but I was NOT ready to rave about my blog: “Oh, I just started it. It’s ok. What do you do?”

 I soon realized everyone was just as awkward as me, and I think I stopped sweating a little bit. Then as I was picking my jacket off the floor (I had to get rid of it. I was way too hot, besides I saw someone else do it first) some attractive dude running the event started talking to me (my friend and I already had a heavy debate if he was gay or straight. He said straight. I said his skin was too glowy to be straight).

 Anywho I had overheard his shtick while I was picking up more sushi, and I was about to settle into the same conversation everyone else had had with him. Off he went, “have you heard of Jillian Michael’s…” Straight, by the way.

 Then he asked me what I did for a living, and I do television ad sales, which is whatever, but he kept using the word aggregate, and guess what? I don’t know what that word means, so I just kept awkwardly nodding, and saying “yeah, kinda.”

 Suddenly, everyone was ushered into another room for a presentation, and I was able to escape the vocabulary quiz I was accidentally invited to take.

 Overall, good food, learned a few things, and oh, yeah, I need a card.

Whole Foods Wellness Center (kale and balsamic on top of bread)

This looked SO good, and I wanted to love it, but it was sort of bland. It needed salt, but I am team kale so I understand where their head was at.

Whole Foods Wellness Center (vegetable sushi)

SO.GOOD. I’m not usually a fan of Whole Foods sushi, but this was made with something that made it sort of sweet and nutty, and I died for it. They put out soy sauce and a ginger dipping sauce. I practically licked the ginger sauce out of the bowl, but I didn’t because that would have been inapprops.

Whole Food Wellness Center (lentil dip and veggies)

The dip was meh, sorta watery, but the sushi came with a ginger dressing, and I dipped the veggies in that all.night.long