What A Girl Is Really Thinking When It Comes To Food

Category Archives: Brunch


entrance to tu-lu's bakery

Tulu’s Bakery [Click the photo above to go to Tulu’s website]

338  E 11th St (between 1st and 2nd Avenue)New York, NY 10003

I’ve had a blog for whatever period of time, and my cousin Jamie has worked for a bakery for a few years, and she’s always bringing her homemade goodies to family events (ok she did it one time, but an elephant never forgets), and I just realized I should blog about the bakery she works for, so disclaimer, it is my cousin’s bakery, but my whole family dies for food, so if we like it you’ll like it.*

Also a disclaimer, we’re not real cousins, we’re cousins of cousins, but like we’re cousins. Get it?

So I brought my other cousin (she’s a real one) Ali to the bakery, because lets just make this a family affair. We went on a Saturday at like 12:30 to have a desserty (not a word) brunch.

I arrive, and the bakery is small, it’s more of a pick-up and go then a sit and eat, but there is seating, so I just start making myself comfortable putting my jacket on another chair, finding a spot for my bag. I order a coffee and a water before I go to town, and I get a text from my cousin:

text message

I walk outside, and there is my awkward cousin just loitering around on 11th Street, and it just cracks me up. Like here I am making myself at home, and she’s acting like a vagabond.

So, what do we order? So, their specialty is the coffee cake, and boyyyy is it.

A red velvet cupcake, because it has cream cheese frosting, so that’s like the sugary version of a bagel with cream cheese for brunch (isn’t it????)

A jalapeno corn muffin just to switch it up.

and last but definitely not least a chocolate chip cookie.

I start attacking each item with a plastic knife so we can divide it up between the two of us.

My cousin Jamie comes out to say hi to us, and she just stays. The bakery can bake itself. We’re more important. Deal with it people.

“You are not going to take a picture of me are you?” says Jamie.

Chef gear ain’t cute. She’s in a bandana, shoes that can be described as orthopedic, make-up free (she does have blemish free skin fyi), and just clothes she wants to destroy in a kitchen (will she hate me for reading this? Possibly).

“Nope, you’re good.”

“Ok good, because some Japanese newspaper said they were just taking a picture of the plate and I saw the article and I was in it. I’m famous in Japan.”

“Totally.”

I’m starting to fill up but I’m digging the coffee cake on all levels, and don’t want to stop.

“You should hear the things people talk about in here.” People really are oblivious. No one censors themselves anymore. I can’t even imagine what the baristas at Starbucks think of me (she’s obsessed with her mom, and is always yelling at her…wait yeah I can).

My cousin proceeds to tell us about how two girls came into the bakery ordered, and then continued to have this “private” conversation:

“I really want to change my name to Tiny, because I’m so tiny.”

“You really are so tiny.”

“But then I looked it up on Twitter, and someone else already had that name.”

That’s when I go, “wait her name, or her twitter name.”

“I wasn’t sure. I hope it was her Twitter name.”

“I should probably get back behind the counter, I’ve been standing here with you for a while.”

“K, bye.”

* So on a health note: this is a gluten free bakery, and for the record gluten is not less caloric, less fattening, or more healthy. A cake is a cake. A cupcake is a cupcake and so on and so forth.  It is just made with different ingredients to keep the baked goods together and not fall apart. All the food is good, and if you happen to have a gluten allergy, it’s a fab option. And that is that!

Picture time….

coffee cake

Coffee Cake

I don’t even love coffee cake, because I think it can be a little dry, but not this one. This with a cup of coffee, is just a delight.
red velvet cupcake
Red Velvet Cupcake
They are small by cupcake standards, so guilt free? I don’t know. Very very good. done.
jalapeno cornbread
Cornbread Jalapeno Cake.
Not the best. I don’t recommend. It’s just a change of pace if you want something savory, but if you’re going to a bakery stick with the sweet stuff.
chocolate chip cookie
Chocolate Chip Cookie
Secret reveal: it’s made with espresso. I die for chocolate chip cookies, and this is no exception.
display
Here is the display, take ya pick!
bakery wall
And here is their, I don’t know, mascot? I’m into it.
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Poco [Click the photo above to go to Poco’s website]
33 Avenue B (on the corner of 3rd street) New York, NY 10009

Can I wear black leggings with brown fry boots and a cream button down.

or do the colors not math

match

This is the text message that started by Saturday morning before I left for a brunch (bottomless brunch of course) with 4 girl friends of mine.

Yes, it’s fine.

Wanna share a cab?

“Yes, but hurry up I’m leaving right now,” I say as I fast forward through my Gallery Girls recording. I’m not leaving yet, but my friend is the slowest person on Earth, so I figured I’d light a fire under her legging clad ass.

I read the next text message:If ur lying ur dead (emoticon).

I’m in a cab, I reply as I turn up the volume.

I finally pick up my friend and off we go to Poco to enjoy a nice bottomless brunch on a pretty Saturday afternoon.

When we arrive the hostess informs us that there will be a slight wait since people came late…slight huh?

The other three girls arrive, and we attempt to wait patiently. We’re all in standard brunch garb, jeans, sandals/sneakers etc, and there is my other friend standing 5”10 with thick rimmed glasses, hot red lipstick, a scarf, combat boots (its almost 80 degrees out) and an oversize Chanel (her uniform). The only difference from her usual day to day outfit is that now she has an IPhone in her hand as opposed to her Blackberry.

“Do you like having an IPhone?”

“Um…it’s my 4th one.”

It’s been less than 30 days since she received her first one.

“How do you keep losing them?”

“Well I left one in a cab, but I realized as soon as I got out of the cab, so I took off my shoe and threw it at the cab.”

“Oh, so you got the phone.”

“I missed…”

“You have lipstick on your teeth.”

5 minutes turns into 30 minutes as we stand outside shooting the hostess dirty looks (how much longer..like 10 more minutes?…15 minutes later…they’re paying the check…10 minutes later….paying the check…we hate you) We are finally seated at a table outside, but CC Sabathia hasn’t charged her phone and it’s about to die, so she starts running around the restaurant asking if there’s an available outlet, and then says she wants to sit inside so she can hear the music better. I give her the seat closest to the speakers to make her feel better.

Waiter, wheres my drink….

“Mimosa!”

“2 mimosas!”

“3.”

“Bloody mary.”

“Can I have sangria?”

“Do you do pitchers?” They do, but only of mimosas, which they serve in a champagne bottle, tricky.

“You know, we were waiting half hour for our table,” says my friend hinting for some sort of accommodation aka extra pitchers.

“What a shame! Well you’re sitting now.” That was unsuccessful.

…and then brunch ended. No seriously, it didn’t. but it’s all a bit of a blur.

I having officially ended the Dukan Diet got a skirt steak sandwich, that I think had chimichurri sauce in it.

My other friend ordered the pulled chicken, which was pretty much chicken salad, but she didn’t realize that until she got it, so that didn’t go over well.

Two ordered eggs over easy with bacon, and one ordered lobster benedict (which I somehow neglected to take a picture of, sorry!). All of our meals came with home fries and salad. The home fries tasted like they were frozen and reheated, and the salad had a weird tropical like dressing, but that dressing goes very well with a mimosa (or does it?).

There was nothing left. Two of our friends had to leave early, and one of their bags swung around the table and spilled mimosa everywhere, which led to bees flying everywhere, everywhere!

The check comes, and I realize the other two girls were in remedial math in high school, so I’m going to have to drunkenly do this check…damn it.

“Can you hand me my phone or no?” I hear my friend ask a group of diners sitting near the outlet her phone is charging in, and then she gets up to talk to a group of guys instead, and then comes back to report, “they’re all gay.”

“Lets go to Beekman Beer Garden.”

And then I died. But the moral of this story is, we’re all willing to wait half hour if it means we get a bottomless drunk brunch in good weather and good music. But you could have been nicer about it Poco..I am a food blogger after all.

Poco (bottomless brunch special)

The best part of the meal. The champagne bottle is really a bottle of mimosa.

Poco (grilled skirt steak and cheese sandwich: with fried eggs, creamy avocado, letuce and tomato served on a French baguette)

I want to say the cheese was like a Manchego which had a nice salty bite with the steak and avocado. It’s not exactly brunch, but we did eat at 1:30pm so it’s fine.

Poco (pulled chicken sandwich: apple wood smoked bacon, lettuce, tomato, and chipotle aioli)

Translation: chicken salad sandwich with bacon. It was a little too mayo-y, but fine.

Poco (two eggs over easy with bacon)

I didn’t taste the eggs, but you have to be a pretty crappy restaurant to mess this up.

Want to know where to go right now? [Click the photo above to read Updating the Eater Heatmap:Where to Eat Right Now]

Nothing says football season more than wings and beer! [Click the photo above to read Beyond Buffalo: New York’s Nine Most Exciting New Wings]

Summer is over, which means more time in the city to go out, eat late night, and then feel guilty about it the next morning! [Click the photo above to read 10 Great Late Nite Bites in the Meatpacking District]

Miracles do exist! Tates Chocolate Chip Cookie Ice Cream Sandwich, a tatewich! You can purchase them as soon as above or make them yourself! All you need are cookies and ice cream, and a sharp knife. Thats it! It’s a crowd pleaser!

P.S. I stole these pictures, I wouldn’t be caught dead with that manicure.


Café Cortadito  [Click the photo above to go to Café Cortadito’s website]

 10 East 3rd Street (between Ave B & Ave C) New York, NY 10009

 Spent a rainy Saturday at a coed bottomless brunch…I know what??

 First off, I was originally supposed to go to this brunch with a few girls, and then I get a text from my friend saying, “we are not going to know anyone at this brunch.” Great, lets break bread with people I don’t know. This won’t be awkward at all.

 I would also like to point out that I know these people through a boy I was dating (yes, dating! Not hooking up. I’m not a 20 year old undergrad anymore. You want something, you better buy me dinner first), so you can imagine my horror when more of his friends were coming to a DRUNK brunch. Who knew what would slip out of my mouth? Oh, and did I mention they were couples? MISS, WHERE IS MY MIMOSA?

 I had already told my friend ahead of time she had to sit next to me (am I 12? Maybe), but her boy best friend (who she calls her brother) apparently had the same idea, and we secretly competed over our seating arrangement.

 Her brother won, so I sat next to him, with my friend sitting across from me, and her other friend( I had met twice before) sitting to my right.  I should also point out that the restaurant was the size of a small walk-in closet, and 9 of us squeezed into a table that sat 6 comfortably. So when I say we sat next to each other, I mean we were straight up cuddling. Lets.get.started.

 “Should I take pictures of our meal?”

“You should!”

“Why would you take pictures?”

“Because I have a food blog, do you want my card?” (Yes, I have cards now!)

“You seriously have a blog?”

“Yes…”

“Are there videos on your blog?”

“Sort of…”

“You should have videos” (Oh, thanks. I should have been like DON’T TELL ME HOW TO RUN THIS! but instead I get all shy and embarrassed and just respond with a meek, “ok.”)

 We order pitchers of mimosas, mojitos, two sangrias (white and red), and maybe one more drink. The lovely lady sitting next to me suggested combining the mimosa and mojito…she is a genius.

 I was at least 3 drinks in before my food arrived…I actually can’t remember. Whatever. It’s a bottomless brunch! Don’t judge me!

 I had per usual looked up this menu ahead of time (for G-d’s sake it’s Cuban, I have never had a Cuban brunch before, I needed to be prepared: I needed to see pictures prior to ordering). I went for the Amanecer Corralito (sweet plantain omelette with Spanish chorizo and ham), I saw from the picture the chorizo and ham were served on the side, and the omelette looked like a good size portion. Yummy. Omelette was sweet with the plantains inside, and then tasted delic with the chorizo combined. Sweet and Savory. Boom.

 My friend’s “brother” was texting our mutual friend to no avail, because he wanted a male companion for March Madness later in the day. Unfortunately, our friend was unavailable because he was at his own brunch…an exclusive couples brunch. Yes, vomit.

 My drunken haze does not allow me to recall how the whole thing started, but in order to get Mr Couples Brunch to respond to Brother, we decided to play a prank on him, and this just made the brunch fly by!

What better way to keep yourself busy when you don’t know one other person there!

 We decided to tell Mr Couples Brunch that I was making out with some dude Mr Couples Brunch hates, who we shall name Brock Lee* (Best idea ever! Lets do it! … No, we should not. Why am I jumping at the chance to sound like a slut?).

 I start grabbing Brother’s arm and laughing like a drunken hyena.

 Mr Couples Brunch goes nuts and starts texting the craziest things:

 “She has really hit rock bottom.”

“LMAO”

 At this point I am just dying of laughter (He thinks I’ve hit rock bottom! Stop it! I can’t breathe!) Looking back I should have been insulted.

 We then decide it would be a good idea for me to text Mr. Couples Brunch and pretend I have no idea what is going on.

 Me: Hey are you at The Hill? (their favorite bar)

Mr Couples Brunch: No, y?

Me: We’re going in a little?

Mr Couples Brunch:  With Brock Lee?

Me: Who?

Mr Couples Brunch is drunk from his own brunch and calls me to yell at me! I of course cannot hear him. They were playing loud music and I felt like I was at a discoteca.

 I finish up with a text…

 Me: You got punk’d son (WHAT? I know. The show is back ok, so don’t judge me)

 Mr Couple’s Brunch isn’t quite getting it, and keeps going…

 Mr Couple’s Brunch: Brock Lee is ur hubby?

Mr Couple’s Brunch: I wanna merk him (idk what that means)

 Next thing I know I’m paying the bill, and my friends are stabbing at my plate, because I didn’t finish my omelette, because I was so distracted by the texting feud. “Hey! That’s really good!” I know…I have a food blog.

 *The name has been changed for privacy reasons.

Cafe Cortadito (sangria, tropical mimosa, mojito)

A little bit of everything.

Cafe Cortadito (Amanecer Corralito)

Sweet plantain omelette with Spanish chorizo and ham. I definitely ordered the best dish!

Cafe Cortadito (huevos rancheros)

2 eggs over a corn tortilla with black beans and salsa. The vegetarian option.

Cafe Cortadito (ropa vieja sandwich)

Cuban style flank steak with a flavorful tomato sauce, green and red peppers.

A boy ordered this. I think ordering a sandwich when you’re drinking is always a safe bet for absorption purposes.


Shopsins [Click the photo above to go to Shopsins website]

120 Essex Street, New York, NY 10002

If you’re in the mood for a big brunch go to Shopsins on the LES! It is inside a supermarket, doesn’t take reservations, and only takes parties of 3 or less, and kitchen closes at 3 (oh AND closed on sundays, go on a saturday). Even with all those limitations it’s worth it!

Their specialty is Blisters on my Sisters (die for their name), but I went for ham & cheese grits and french toast grilled cheese with poached eggs.

I didn’t die for the grilled cheese, but the grits were perfect! It’s definitely worth the cals.

We waited on line for a while, bc there are maybe 8 tables, but the menu is so extensive I spent the entire time debating about what i wanted to eat..

I got to catch up with my friend and drank an iced coffee while we waited to be seated.

Shopsins

Meet the owner of Shopsins, Kenny Shopsin! He is what you would call a character. When I was in search of a restroom (i drank a lot of iced coffee) he handed me 2 keys and said “they’re real ass holes here. They make you go upstairs.”

I asked which key was for the upstairs and his response was “the one that’s not for downstairs.”

Im in love. Im in love, and I don’t care who knows it!

Shopsins: 120 Essex Street, New York, NY 10002

My friend got the pancakes with eggs stuffed imbetween the pancakes. she clearly liked them.

Shopsins

I cannot help myself! Here are the ham & cheese grits!



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